As we moved on   
10:56pm 02/08/2011
 
mood: apathetic
If only I could touch you one more time.
Breathe in the way your laughter sounds.
Peel away your hardened shell
To find the most beautiful rose inside.

A year has passed.
What have we learned?
That even though we're gone
The memories remain.
Rather than fading,
Dig their nails beyond...

Oh well,
Such is the cruelty of life.
Fuck Shane,
Just want to see my brown eyes shine.		  
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01:42am 04/04/2011
  I'm so glad that one of us is happy.  
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01:43am 24/03/2011
  So so empty and hollow...  
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10:14am 21/01/2011
 
mood: chipper
"I know that my choices haven’t been with the best intentions for you
When I close my eyes you’re everywhere"
Markus Schulz, I am not the same		  
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10:37am 13/06/2010
 
mood: awake
music: Dashboard
Dear heart...


...Fuck you		  
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10:34am 04/05/2010
 
music: Shorty like mine.
...damn italians...		  
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Running to the edge of the world   
04:07pm 23/05/2009
 
mood: awful
Remember when I took you
Up to the top of the hill?
We had our knives drawn.
They were as sharp
As we were in love.
If god crossed us
We'd take all his drugs,
Burn his money
And his house down,
And wait for the fire to spread.
But sometimes hate is not enough
To turn this all to ashes.
Together as one
Against all others
Break all of our wings to
Make sure it crashes
We're running to the
Edge of the world
Running, running away
We're running to the edge of the world
I don't know if the world will end today
I had no choice,
I erased the debt of our family,
Let you say goodbye
With lips like dynamite.
And everyone
Turned their backs
Because they knew
When we held on tight
To each other,
We were something fatal,
That fell into the wrong hands.

manson		  
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Tears   
12:44am 14/01/2009
 
mood: sad
music: Love Song - Sarah Bareilles
When I said that you are the love of my life I mean it. Even when we move on to new people. Even when you get married, advance your career and have children I will always be with you. Or shall I say that you will always be with me. Every time I go to a movie it is your hand I hold even though you are a thousand miles away. Every time I cook dinner, it is you holding the knife and I just walk around and eat the food. Every time I look into someone else's eyes, it is yours I see. And ever memory I share with anyone else is empty because that memory should be with you. Because my heart belongs to you and it always will despite the circumstance. And every night when I curl up in bed, it is your shoulder I rest my head on patiently awaiting to see you in my dreams. For that is all we had - dreams.		  
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word poop   
12:16pm 19/10/2008
 
mood: blah
music: Meh
Can't sleep now, not tonight
for something beautiful just died
something so challenging and warm
just disappeared with tonight's storm.

There'll be no shadows and no smiles
from every day I walk the miles
I walk alone; broken and proud
and the loved words no more allowed.

There is one path now made of snow
where tears too much to shed or daydreams known
Forever now the future has been set
So tonight I can't sleep, just lie in bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~		  
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Greek Tragedy - Sept. 1, 2008   
08:57pm 01/09/2008
 
mood: gloomy
Please welcome tragedy at best
The greatest show you've ever seen
And watch the hearts rip out our chest
And splatter on the floor so clean.

To host this show we have our Gods
Greek chorus, orchestra and lights
They'll ask you all about our odds
To win or fail or to survive.

The cast tonight presents just two
A tango, a duet, a dream to cling unto
One's just a dreamer, one is just a fool
But in the end the two are doomed.

The problem is of distance and of faith
And timing not being there on time
And thinking that it's just a big mistake
Seems simply just a crime.

Our characters were made to be together
Then separated by a storm of walls
And so there was no more "forever"
Instead a series of painful falls.

Now recognition came about them
But chorus tells us it's too late
To save them so instead condemn them
To this lonely, unfair fate.

Our characters were made to be together
But they were never meant to be
And on this night so lost and weathered
Our characters will not succeed.

The Gods rejoice in all their glory
The audience stands up and claps
And so the ending of this story
Is our hearts and minds collapse.		  
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lets see where life leads us   
12:31pm 21/08/2008
 
mood: rejected
music: Snow patrol - run
One step forward
Ten steps back
Play with hearts
Don't let them crack.

One smile forward
Ten slaps back
Have your fights
and face the facts.

Push on forward
Through the mud
Even though
You might see blood.

Just know that
at the roads end
we may have hurt
but time will mend.		  
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Oh my god Tokio Hotel   
01:02am 17/08/2008
 
mood: content
music: Schrei - tokio hotel
Just saw Tokio Hotel!!!!!!!!! So excited! And there is Opeth, Children of Bodom, Danzig, and Dimmu Borgir coming soon. I am so excited.

I missed going to concerts with Mikey - he was the perfect concert going partner. boo.

That's all there needs to be said about that one.

And i wont go into adam. there's just too much of nothing to say.		  
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It's a bittersweet symphony   
07:42am 24/06/2008
 
mood: thoughtful
Everyone has a story. Everyone has a past that makes them who they are today. And once you know their story, you see why they are the way they are.

A cocky attitude, $400 shoes, and aversion to relationships is just a wall for a broken heart.

Dating every other guy that you see just to feel like you're wanted is just a wall for hurting someone you deeply loved.




and I'm just starting to realize how many of us are scary and damaged inside.		  
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The Ice is Getting Thinner by Death Cab   
11:07pm 07/06/2008
 
mood: sad
We're not the same, dear, as we used to be
The seasons have changed and so have we
There was little we could say and even less that we could do
To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you

We buried our love in the wintery grave
A lump in the snow was all that remained
But we stayed by its side, as the days turned to weeks
And the ice kept getting thinner with every word that we'd speak

When the spring arrived, we were taken by surprise
When the flows under our feet bled into the sea
And nothing was left for you and me

We're not the same dear and it seems to me
There's nowhere we can go with nothing underneath
Then it saddens me to say what we both knew was true
That the ice was getting thinner under me and you

~~~~~~~~~~~~

No matter what happened between me and Mike, a big part of me still cries for the days when we were happy and in love. I wish it was still the same.		  
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08:56pm 11/03/2008
  Sometimes good people do bad things. Well I just did 100 of those things.

I feel this blowing up in my face.		  
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It never ends   
07:19pm 14/09/2007
  So it's Friday. Week is done. I have a shitload of homework to do - quizzes, lab reports, assignments, etc... And the only time I was planning on leaving my textbooks was to do my usual babysitting Saturday nights.
And now, as I was sitting at dinner, just finished two shots of vodka and starting my third (I'm Belarussian, I'm allowed), a knock on the door startles me as I see another neighbor in desperation asking if I can babysit tonight. Fuck. I can't say no to a desperate face like that. Worse yet, he asked me how much I charge and I said 7, even though I charge 10. So crap.
And earlier today my stepdad asked me to babysit Mishka Sunday night.
Why does everyone want me to babysit this weekend?!!! This neighbor hasn't asked me to babysit since they've moved here a year ago and all of a sudden here's this. And I'm also a bit tipsy. And I'm babysitting two little girls I've never sat with before so I don't know how it's going to go.

MISERIA!!!!!!!		  
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11:13am 12/09/2007
  So I'm passing time before my next class and I just feel the need to rant about something... This something being my English class...I'm only taking it because its a pre-req for medical school, but I can't believe that I'm paying $1500 for something that any university student already knows.

For example, it takes the instructor an entire class to let us know that a essay has a intro, body, and conclusion. she threw in something about a thesis statement as well, but that's about it. I've been writing essays for a long ass time and I feel that it's almost degrading for me to be taking this class. And the instructor loves to do these dramatic pauses after each sentence, but they're so damn long that it becomes almost awkward to look at her.

So now that I'm done with this incredibly short rant, I'm going to go to class... which, by the way, is English.		  
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08:07pm 11/09/2007
  And so the circle of hell begins once again and I am once again devoured by school work. As I write this, I have a lot of reading to do for many classes, but no, procrastination is alive and well in these veins.

Blah.		  
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04:10pm 29/08/2007
  School is starting again next week. I'm excited to study but not excited to work two jobs and not have a life.  
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wow   
09:37pm 27/07/2007
  I have a pretty bad "God Complex", I just realized. Maybe a little bit of a jesus complex too. haha.  
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reigninhell
 
 
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